


An October That Ends in August

by DanieXJ



Category: ER (TV 1994)
Genre: Canon Divergence, ER AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:02:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27088300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanieXJ/pseuds/DanieXJ
Summary: What if Kerry made a different choice before the start of Season 8?Written for parts of the #ERaw2020 (ER Appreciation Week 2020) challenge.
Relationships: Kim Legaspi/Kerry Weaver
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Favorite Season

**Author's Note:**

> ER Appreciation Week - Favorite Season
> 
> Takes place Post-Rampage (7th Season Finale) in or around August of 2001. (So, before the beginning of Season 8)

Kerry sat in her office just off the main floor of the Emergency Department. It felt empty, the hospital felt empty, she felt empty. To be fair to the first part, her office was empty. She spent very little time in it, instead wanting to be in her ER. Her father had waxed poetic about many generals during her childhood. The only thing she’d taken from them was that she should lead from the front.

He’d have known what to do. She missed him. And her mother. She stared at the stained ceiling for a moment, then closed her eyes and pictured him across from her.

_”What’s bothering you little one?”_

_“It’s been a hard year Dad.”_

_Henry’s booming laugh would have echoed throughout whatever room they were in, large or small. “Do you have all your fingers and toes child?” She’d nod, “Both kidneys, eyes, sense of smell?”_

_Another nod. “I lost my heart.”_

_He’d steeple his fingers or push his glasses up his nose. “Well, that is a hard to replace organ. Can you retrieve it, or is it forever lost?”_

_“Technically she’s simply moved home to San Francisco.”_

_“She.” Another laugh, although it would have been a softer chuckle, “You always did like to make it needlessly hard on yourself. Is she a Vikings fan?”_

_“Niners… or St. Louis Rams, I’m not sure.”_

_“Eh, I guess it’s better than a Cheesehead. So, you have two choices daughter of mine. Go after her, or don’t.”_

_“It’s not that easy.”_

_When he was alive he’d have gotten out of wherever he was seated and sat down next to her, pulling her into a hug. But, he was in her head. “Kerry, you know in your heart what you want to do, need to do. You simply have to find the courage to do it.”_

Kerry opened her eyes and swallowed, “I just need to do it.” She pulled over a pad and started writing.

She had just signed it when the office door opened and three nurses came in, Haleh Adams, Chuny Marquez stood directly in front of the desk, while Yosh Takata stood to one side, glaring at Kerry.

Kerry didn’t get to speak, Haleh did first, “Love is too strong a word, like is too weak, but, we, the nurses…”

Chuny chimed in, “are worried.”

Haleh nodded, “Yes, the doctors don’t seem to care, but…”

“Haleh.” Chuny put a hand on her co-worker’s shoulder.

“You obviously didn’t actually go to Africa, because, for one thing, because if you had, you’d have met that delightful Mlungisi and not like death warmed over. The bags under your eyes have bags.”

Chuny took over, “You need to go after her Doctor Weaver. Dr. Legaspi I mean. She made you happier, lighter, even better at your job.”

“She even laughed at your jokes.” Haleh rolled her eyes, “If that’s not a sign of true love, I don’t know what is. So, you need to go to San Francisco. Find her and fix this. We will be fine here.”

Chuny nodded, “We’ll make sure the patients and doctors are okay.”

Kerry stood and held out her hands, taking one of each of the women’s. “Thank you both. For this, and for all you’ve done for me and for this hospital all these years. I will think about it.” She squeezed their hands and let go.

“That’s all we ask Dr. Weaver.” And with that, the women left the office.

Yosh hadn’t moved the entire time, and still didn’t, but he did speak. “It’s okay to be gay Doctor Weaver.”

Kerry stared down at her hands, then back up at Yosh. “That’s not… exactly my problem Mr. Takata. I-- I was scared. Terrified actually. Of being-- out. I have never shirked from a fight before, but, I did this time.” She shook her head, “The little girl with the crutch getting into fights against the bullies. Drove my mother crazy, made my father proud. Kim shouldn’t take me back, I-- I got her fired. I didn’t stand up for her.” Kerry put a hand to her head, “This has been a hard year.”

“My husband died two months ago.”

Kerry looked up, staring at Yosh, “What? When?” She closed her eyes for a moment, “The week you took off. Why didn’t you say something to me Yosh. A week… that’s not…”

Yosh put a hand up, “I didn’t say this to make you feel bad Dr. Weaver. Look. You’re not wrong to be terrified. The number of times that we were threatened. And, Chicago isn’t bad compared to other places. And, in those other places, we can even go to jail still for just being ourselves. For loving who we do. Not to mention get fired, get evicted, get murdered.” He paused, “You’re not wrong for being scared Dr. Weaver. But, it’s much easier being scared with someone than by yourself. I didn’t know her too well, but, Dr. Legaspi seems like the kind of woman to be a little scared for. To fight for.” He paused again, “To go to San Francisco for.”


	2. Favorite Character

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ER Appreciation Week 2020 - Favorite Character

“Peter, did you hear-- Kerry’s a lesbian.”

Peter responded, but didn’t look up from the journal he was reading as Shirley got a cup of coffee. “Good for her.”

“I guess that she and Kim Legaspi were going out, but, it blew up because of Romano.”

That got Peter’s attention, “Excuse me?”

Shirley held her hands up, “I’m just repeating what I heard. I’ve always sorta liked her. No nonsense. We could use more of that in this hospital, and less… shenanigans. Less coming and going… fewer… interpersonal relationships within a department that implode.” 

She gave Peter a look that he totally missed as he stood. “Thank you Shirley.”

She watched him leave the lounge, “She actually listened to the nurses and support staff…”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“We must do something about this Mark.”

Mark shook his head, “You don’t even like her Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth bristled, “That isn’t true Mark. I didn’t like how she handled your tumor, but, the rumor is that her vacation was actually a suspension. And I will not let that happen to a co-worker. To a female co-worker. Obviously Romano is making another play for the Emergency Department head job. Again.” She met Mark’s eyes, challenging him, “Is that what you want Mark? There are worse things than Kerry Weaver.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“Carl, is it a good idea to rile Doctor Romano?”

“Oh, you mean in response to the fact that he suspended and fired my subordinate without a word to me either time? Oh, he’s not going to know what hit him.”

The psychiatric nurse gave a pregnant pause, “I believe he’s trying to get Kerry fired too.”

“Nope. I like her. That’s not going to happen either.”

The nurse blinked, “You like her? No one likes her, liked her, except for Kim… Dr. Legaspi.”

“Enough. I like her enough. I’ll be in Romano’s office if anyone needs me.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“Randi. What did you do?”

Randi put on her most innocent look, and turned, “Who me?”

Abby crossed her arms over her chest, “Someone or someones from almost every department is about to descend on Robert Romano’s office furious and all for different reasons.” Abby paused, “Randi.”

Randi was silent for another moment, then shrugged, “Look. She’s always been good to me. Kerry has. In this dump heap she’s my favorite person. We started around the same time, and while she’s a hard taskmaster, she’s also always fair. I-- she’s my friend. I think.” Randi smirked, “I did get her the Chief of the ER position,” her grin dimmed, “and she’s in pain. Getting-- Romano-- off her back. It’s the least I can do. And, I didn’t lie to anyone, I was just a little birdie whispering in their ears.”

Abby shook her head, “Remind me to never be your enemy Miranda Fronczak. You’re… a force.”

Randi gave a bow, “Thank you very much.” She changed the subject, “I think Luka was looking for you.”

Abby put down the chart in her hands, “Later. I’m going to go watch the fireworks. You coming?”

“Frank. I’m taking my break.” Randi put her arm through Abby’s, “So, are you straight or a bit bendable Abigail Lockhart?”

“What?”

Randi laughed.

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“Are you sure Kerry?”

Kerry nodded, “I will be forever grateful for what working at County has given me. What I’ve learned here. Who I’ve met here.” She quirked an eyebrow, “Even what I’ve learned from you Robert. But, my time here needs to come to an end. Sure. I could try and fight for a bigger role. I’d win too. You wouldn’t know what hit you. It’d take me…” she stared off for a second, “...two years at the most. But, it wouldn’t make me happy.”

Romano shook his head and sat back in his chair, “The blonde. Legaspi. She’s not worth it Kerry.”

“Why, because she turned you down?”

“Because she’s a pretty one, and we’re not. We’re the hard workers, the plains, the ones with the money and power. The pretty ones, oh, they’ll like you for awhile, but, then they’ll be gone, leaving your destroyed heart behind.” He was silent for a moment, “You’re the flame, steadfast and true, she’s just a moth that will either fly away or die. No matter how much you love her, she will never love you as much.”

Kerry stood perfectly still for so long that Romano pushed away from his desk and stood. “Don’t give me that look Kerry. I’m obviously not talking about myself. I’m the Chief of Staff at County General Hospital in Chicago, not to mention a damn amazing surgeon. I want for nothing, and have sex whenever I want it. Don’t feel bad for me.”

“I hope that you can heal from whatever, whoever, hurt you Robert.”

Romano stopped in front of Kerry, “Now. What’s going to happen is that I’m going to give you platonic and in no way sexually harassing hug. And if you ever tell anyone, I will kill you.”

Kerry was stiff as Romano wrapped his arms around her. After a moment, though, when it became apparent that he was simply doing what he said he was going to do, she reciprocated, hugging him back. Then they separated. Kerry spoke, “That was weird.”

Romano nodded, “It was, let’s never do it again.”

Brenda’s voice came over the interoffice intercom. “Doctor Romano, there are… quite a few people waiting to talk to you. And they don’t seem to care that you’re in a meeting.”

“Kerry. Good luck. Perhaps you’ll have better luck with your pretty one than I did.”

Before Kerry could respond the door banged open and everyone that had been outside streamed in. From Janet Coburn, to Peter, to Elizabeth, to Carl, and even more. Kerry slipped out in the melee. As she got past the doorway she turned back towards the office. She put her fingers to her chin and then moved her hand towards Robert. The ASL sign for Thank You. Robert inclined his head and focused on his office intruders and their demands.

Kerry found Randi by the elevator and pulled her into an empty conference room. Randi smirked, “Gonna ravage me?”

“You will fix this once I’m gone?”

Randi nodded, her face serious, “I will. I-- there are many people in this hospital who will be sad to see you go. Some here even like you.”

Kerry put a hand to Randi’s cheek for a moment, “Thank you Randi. You’ve always been there for me.”

Randi swallowed, “I’ve always considered you a friend.”

Kerry shook her head, “No, no…” she hugged Randi, “We’re sisters Miranda.”

They parted and Randi cleared her throat a couple of times, “That… make sure to call me when you get there. When you get back together too.” She smirked, “Maybe she has a brother.”

“No, her brother Thomas Jr., TJ died in her arms when she was a kid.” Kerry grinned, “She does have a twin sister though, Carol.”

Randi opened and closed her mouth, “Identical?” Kerry nodded, “There are two of them?”


	3. Favorite Relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ERaw2020 - Favorite Relationship

Kerry took a deep breath and pushed through the fence door. The sound on the other side practically knocked her over. It was loud. But joyus. Happy Birthday was being sung by a large number of people. Thankfully most of them were almost in tune.

Kerry watched as two cakes were brought out and placed in front of a pair of identical blondes. They blew them out and everyone hooted and clapped.

As the cakes started to be divied up by a woman who looked so much like the blondes that it could have only been their mother, one of the blondes looked up and met Kerry’s eyes. Then gave the other one a poke.

The second one strode towards Kerry with a purpose. “What are you doing here Kerry? I thought I was very clear in Chicago.”

“You were. I brought Sour Cream & Onion chips.”

Kim crossed her arms over her chest, “I’m going to ask you to leave now.”

“Nope.”

Kim sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, “Carol. This is a private conversation.”

Carol laughed, “Not in this family Kimmy. Kim, she brought three bags of Sour Cream & Onion chips. Of course we’re letting her stay.”

Kim stared at Kerry for a long moment, then without another word, turned on her heel and rejoined the party.

Carol took two of the bags and held out a hand, “If you couldn’t tell, I’m the grumpy one’s identical twin sister. I’m older by five minutes, and also, I’m prettier, but, we won’t tell her that. Carol Legaspi, formerly Smith, but, we don’t talk about that.”

Kerry shook Carol’s hand, “Kerry Weaver. I know I’m just dropping in, but…”

“Was it Mom or Dad who said you should join us.”

“Ah, Thomas Senior. Your father.”

Carol dropped her free hand over Kerry’s shoulder as they started back towards the party proper. “He would. He thinks that our Kimmy wasn’t as understanding as she could have been. Reminded her that even in 2001 or before not everyone has the chance to find themselves as a teen in a massively supportive environment. On the other hand,” Carol smirked, “our mother would very much like to drop you in a well and seal it up for in her words, ‘breaking my little girl’s heart’” Kerry looked over, concerned, “I don’t think she’d do it.”

“Ah, she’s the former police detective and your father is still a Congregational pastor?”

Carol put her two bags of chips and the one Kerry had on the snack table. “And here Kim claimed that you never listened to her.”

Kerry shook her head, “I heard everything she ever said. Especially everything she told me about all of you,” she paused, “including TJ.” Both women were silent. “I can go. I didn’t think that I would swoop in here and it would be Hallmark endings and happy feelings.” Kerry watched Kim play with one of the children. “But, I love her. I’m in love with her. I was just too scared to do anything about it until now.”

Carol took Kerry’s hand in her own, “C’mon. Let me introduce you to everyone. Once they get over hating you on behalf of Kim, they’re going to love you.”

oOOOOo oOOOOo

“Are you a baseball fan?”

“A bit. I went to some Brewers games with my father as a teenager when we got back to the states. The food was good.”

Thomas Sr. chuckled, “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine Reverend.”

“Tom, please. And that’s the answer that you give everyone. I love my daughter, but she is not always right.”

Kerry took a small sip of her drink, “Whatever she told you wasn’t wrong. I did nothing right during our relationship. You shouldn’t blame her. I don’t.” She took another sip, “Before that night I’d never shied away from a fight. Not even with Robert or Donald. I failed her and if she gives me the chance I would spend the rest of my life making up for my mistake.”

Tom shook his head, “That’s not a good way to have a life together. Love in a marriage needs to be unconditional and without imbalance.”

“If that’s what she believes too, then I probably shouldn’t have come here, because, there is no way I can make up for what I did.”

Tom waved a dismissive hand at Kerry, “You’ve gotten Carol on your side. That’s half the battle. Those two…”

Kim’s mother called to Tom. He clapped a hand on Kerry’s shoulder, then walked to his wife.

“Are you disabled?”

Kerry looked down at a towheaded boy that looked to be about eight or nine. “No. I was born with congenital hip dysplasia and so I use a crutch to make it easier on my hip.”

The boy studied Kerry. “Does it hurt? Your hip?”

“Sometimes.” Kerry paused, “More than it used to.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and Kerry realized that this must be Kim’s nephew Trip, Thomas Legaspi the Third. He confirmed it a moment later, “You hurt my Aunt Kim? Why?”

“I did. I was scared.”

“Oh--” He let his arms fall to his sides, “I’m scared of dogs and everyone at school makes fun of me for it. Why were you scared?”

“My entire sense of self changed in the span of a few months.”

“Oh--”

Kerry smiled, “You wish you hadn’t asked.”

“Yeah. So. Adult stuff then?”

Kerry nodded, “Adult stuff.”

“Do you like her?”

“I do, yes.”

Trip shook his head, “Adults are so stupid. I’m gonna get more cake. Want some?”

Kerry hid a smile, “No thank you.”

And he was off, replaced after a moment by Kim. “Why’d you come here Kerry?”

“Because staying in Chicago would have been the worst thing I’ve ever done.”

“Because everyone knows you’re gay now.” Kim wrapped her arms around herself as if preparing for the answer.

Kerry took a step forward and unwound Kim’s hands, taking them in her own. Surprisingly the blonde didn’t pull away. “No. My heart went home to her family in San Francisco.”

Kim looked around, “You say that here, in my parents backyard, where no one really knows you, and no one cares that you’re a lesbian.” She paused, “Scream it.”

Kerry took a breath and lifted her head towards the sky, “I, Kerry Weaver, am in love with a WOMAN! Dr. Kim Legaspi is my soulmate.”

Everyone at the party went still, their heads swiveled to look at the two women. One of the older guys, either Tom or Kim’s Mom’s sibling gave an awkward thumbs up.

Kim cleared her throat. “I didn’t mean you should actually do it.”

Kerry laughed and brought one of Kim’s hands to her lips, kissing its palm. “I love you Kim. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” She let go of Kim’s hands, “So. I’ll go now. I’ve said what I came to say, but, I’m not going to pressure you.”

She turned and started towards the fence and front yard. “Wait.”

Kerry stopped and turned as Kim caught up, “Yes?”

“You don’t even like Sour Cream & Onion… anything. You actually very much hate the flavor combo. Why’d you bring it to the party?”

“Because you like them.”

“That’s it?”

Kerry nodded, “You have no reason to believe me, but me not standing up for you, for us in that damn meeting, that’s unlike me. It was so out of character.” She took a breath, “This last season of my life, this last year, was the best yet. When we’re together…”

“That’s just…”

Kerry cut Kim off, “I don’t mean the sex.” She smirked, “Although none of the men I’ve been with came close to what you made me feel. No. I am-- a broken puzzle piece, and you, you fill all the spots that are jagged so that we can fit into life together.”

Kim stepped into Kerry’s personal space and cupped her cheek, “You are not broken Kerry Weaver.”

Kerry swallowed, “See, I think you’re the only one in the world who would say that.”

Kim didn’t move her hand, but did close her eyes for a moment. When she opened them her other hand joined the first and she pulled Kerry closer, “Fuck it.”

Their lips met in a kiss that was tender and needy at the same time. Kerry’s arms went around Kim’s waist and it seemed like both women were trying to merge their bodies and souls.

They broke apart for a moment to take a breath, but, it was a short breath. They were oblivious to everything and everyone in the backyard.

On the other side of the yard Trip Legaspi, who was Carol’s son, rolled his eyes. “Still say adults are stupid.”

His Mom ruffled his hair, “Just you wait kiddo.”


End file.
